The Art of Living

Theartoflivingistoknowwhentoholdfastandwhentoletgo.Forlifeisaparadox:itenjoinsustoclingtoitsmanygiftsevenwhileitordainstheireventualrelinquishment.Therabbisofoldputitthisway:"Amancomestothisworldwithhisfistclenched,butwhenhedies,hishandisopen."

Surelyweoughttoholdfasttolife,foritiswondrous,andfullofabeautythatbreaksthrougheveryporeofGodsownearth.Weknowthatthisisso,butalltoooftenwerecognizethistruthonlyinourbackwardglancewhenwerememberwhatwasandthensuddenlyrealizethatitisnomore.

Werememberabeautythatfaded,alovethatwaned.Butwerememberwithfargreaterpainthatwedidnotseethatbeautywhenitflowered,thatwefailedtorespondwithlovewhenitwastendered.

Arecentexperiencere-taughtmethistruth.Iwashospitalizedfollowingasevereheartattackandhadbeeninintensivecareforseveraldays.Itwasnotapleasantplace.

Onemorning,Ihadtohavesomeadditionaltests.Therequiredmachineswerelocatedinabuildingattheoppositeendofthehospital,soIhadtobewheeledacrossthecourtyardonagurney.

Asweemergedfromourunit,thesunlighthitme.Thatsalltherewastomyexperience.Justthelightofthesun.Andyethowbeautifulitwas--howwarming,howsparking,howbrilliant!Ilookedtoseewhetheranyoneelserelishedthesunsgoldenglow,buteveryonewashurryingtoandfro,mostwitheyesfixedontheground.ThenIrememberedhowoftenI,too,hadbeenindifferenttothegrandeurofeachday,toopreoccupiedwithpettyandsometimesevenmeanconcernstorespondfromthatexperienceisreallyascommonplaceaswastheexperienceitself:lifesgiftsareprecious--butwearetooheedlessofthem.

Herethenisthefirstpoleoflifesparadoxicaldemandsonus:Nevertoobusyforthewonderandtheaweoflife.Bereverentbeforeeachdawningday.Embraceeachhour.Seizeeachgoldenminute.

Holdfasttolife...butnotsofastthatyoucannotletgo.Thisisthesecondsideoflifescoin,theoppositepoleofitsparadox:wemustacceptourlosses,andlearnhowtoletgo.

Thisisnotaneasylessontolearn,especiallywhenweareyoungandthinkthattheworldisourstocommand,thatwhateverwedesirewiththefullforceofourpassionatebeingcan,nay,will,beours.Butthenlifemovesalongtoconfrontuswithrealities,andslowlybutsurelythistruthdawnsuponus.

Ateverystageoflifewesustainlosses--andgrowintheprocess.Webeginourindependentlivesonlywhenweemergefromthewombandloseitsprotectiveshelter.Weenteraprogressionofschools,thenweleaveourmothersandfathersandourchildhoodhomes.Wegetmarriedandhavechildrenandthenhavetoletthemgo.Weconfrontthedeathofourparentsandourspouses.Wefacethegradualornotsogradualwaningofourstrength.Andultimately,astheparableoftheopenandclosedhandsuggests,wemustconfronttheinevitabilityofourowndemise,losingourselvesasitwere,allthatwewereordreamedtobe.